When someone you love becomes a memory,
The memory becomes a treasure.
May 31st would have been my mother in laws Birthday.
Its been 4 years since she passed away from Cancer and she is still missed by all, her children David and Christine will always miss her the most, even more so on her Birthday... A Day that is meant for the Celebration of Life has become a somber occasion.
I write this post to Celebrate Elfriede's life, to replace the tears with laughter and for just a moment in time reflect upon an amazing woman, who I was lucky enough to call mom.
(Mom and I at my rehearsal)
In the very early days of dating David I was invited along to Dan and Deanna's wedding. I was so very excited about going and I was really looking forward to making a good impression with Davids mom, whom I had only met a few times. During the rehearsal dinner I was trying to cut my steak, but my fingers were a little greasy and one of my fingers slipped and my acrylic nail snapped off and flew across the table and landed on mom's plate. I had no idea what I should do, do I just lean over and take my nail back? Well before I could make a move Mom and Christine realized something was on moms plate... as they picked it up I politely reached my open hand across and said, ah that would be my nail... I thought I would die right then and there!!! Mom just smiled at me.
(David and mom doing the Chicken Dance)
Many years ago....Mom, David and I went up to Big Bear to join Dan, Deanna, Bobby and Laura at the Oktoberfest Celebration that was being held up there. This was my first experience with this wonderful German celebration... we ate great food and drank a whole lot and then I got my first taste of the Chicken Dance, the music came on and David and mom shot up and made their way to the dance floor, I watched David and mom smiling from ear to ear, flapping their arms and shaking their butts and Mom laughing as David linked arms with mom and swung her around.
(What a wonderful mother and son moment)
Just before I married David, Mom told me this "I raised David this far, its your job to finish raising him!" Mom had a great scene of humour, even at her children's expense. HA
(Mom and Christine in Maui)
This one is by Christine - I always loved how mom can do something that seemed so logical at the moment but turn into the funniest moment - and one of the best memories. Mom loved water but had a phobia of going under water (she was very claustrophobic). One summer we were out at the lake and my mom and her boyfriend decided to take a canoe ride. My mom wouldn't go without an inter tube around her in the event that the boat would tip she figured she wouldn't go under. As she was settling into the canoe, at shore her boyfriend kept telling her that she was going to tip the canoe if she didn't get settled soon. She said everything was fine and the next moment they tipped over and she fell out of the tube and went under. Yep her worse fear. I was on the dock and saw this and was laughing so hard I didn't even think to help them - as they were still under water. They finally emerged to me still laughing hysterically. I got yelled at for laughing rather then helping, my mom lost one of her favorite earrings but mom learned her lesson - put on the inter tube before you go in the canoe.
(Photo note by Christine - This pic is of course one of my favorites. She loved life and nature and always had her happy "here I am" pose)
(mom is stuck!)
This one is also by Christine - It was our first night in Maui and mom and I had a beautiful room. She had the bedroom and my bed was the pull out couch. I had stacked the cushions next to the couch with of course the intention of putting them back on in the morning when I made the bed. As was our routine when together mom and I woke, had our coffee and not-so-healthy breakfast, talked, laughed and most importantly s-l-o-w-l-y woke up as we were on vacation and didn't have to rush anywhere. I was making my bed and mom had just finished washing the dishes. She decided to take a moment to sit down before taking a shower. She saw the stack of cushions that were quite high and looked firm and decided "I can sit on this". As she started to sit down I started to ask what she was doing - to late. Not only did she sit on the cushions but the cushions sank so much that she couldn't get up on her own. Of course I had to grab the camera and take a pic before helping her up.
(Logan and his Oma... hello and goodbye)
When I was pregnant with Logan, Mom said to me "I am only going to give you one bit of advice, Your family is David you and your baby, people are always going to give you advice and try and tell you what you should do, screw them, you do what is best for your family." I crack up when I remember her saying "Screw them" in her wonderful Austrian accent. Thanks mom, words to live by!
Logan knows about Oma, her name Oma was his second word to say when he was a baby.
Logan wanted to get a cake and some Spongebob decorations to celebrate Oma's Birthday. We settled on a cup cake with a candle so Logan could make a wish for Oma. As Logan blew out the candle and make his wish this is what he said "I wish Oma was here." He then went on to tell Oma how good her cup cake is and what it taste like.
Loss of Mother Poem
Now that I am gone,
remember me with smiles and laughter.
And if you need to cry,
cry with your brother or sister
who walks in grief beside you.
And when you need me,
put your arms around anyone
and give to them what you need to give to me.
There are so many who need so much.
I want to leave you something--
something much better than words or sounds.
Look for me in the people I've known
or helped in some special way.
Let me live in your heart
as well as in your mind.
You can love me most
by letting your love reach out to our loved ones,
by embracing them and living in their love.
Love does not die, people do.
So, when all that's left of me is love,
give me away as best you can.
~Author Unknown
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but power. They speak more eloquently than 10,000 tongues. They are the messenger of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. - Washington Irving
Before you leave this blog, I ask you to take a moment and share your favorite memory, story, poem or photos of Friede with us. She lives on in all of us... Click on the word comments below and leave us some love!
